An I for an I: What about energy givers and energy takers?

“I only want to give something to someone if he gives me something back.”

Lately, people tend to divide people into ‘energy givers’ and ‘energy takers’. In order to select who they want to be around with.

-As if we always belong to one category.-

It is not new, however, that it helps people to categorize individuals because it allows them to think (fast) and make decisions. But it may be worrysome if we support each other in this line of reasoning.

Pursuing your own good is highly respected and selfishness becomes ‘a good thing’.

“I only invest in energygivers.”

We may want to nuance this line of reasoning by asking individuals where they want to invest in (you can also decide to invest in somebody who needs energy). Or when you feel able to invest in others. Because maybe, just maybe, this might also make you feel good in the long run. And it will also become highly respected.

And maybe, just maybe, we are obliged (or socially responsible) to help others and make sure we all survive and overcome shitholes.

And so the world might become a better place if we realize that we are in this together, and helping others does not have to be instrumental.

“I have to take care of myself first.” 

Consultants and coaches often draw the analogy with a plane crash – ‘always provide yourself oxygen first’. When you find yourself in a stress situation, this might be very valuable. But when are we in absolute stress? When are we thinking long term or only in the now?

What if you are not able to invest in one an other? It may help you to admit that you need someone to invest in you. Does it turn you into an ‘enerytaker’? No. It makes you human. And you might just realise that the person that needed ‘energy’ before is human too. He or she just needed energy.

The American dream versus (European) reality.

Although it can be ‘very nice’ to obtain your own goals and aspirations, it will also help you to develop and grow as a person to be altruistic and look at others not in terms of energy givers and takers, but in a different way.

If you want to keep it simple, we might categorize others in the following groups:

  • Energy (currently) wanters: able to give, but wanting to have some more
  • Energy (currently) depleters: not able to give at this moment: acute situation
  • Energy (currently) havers: able to share

This may allow individuals to change category from time to time and to feel down sometimes and dare to show and share this, as this will not exclude you from society as would be the case if you are an ‘energy taker’…

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